nice try mom
- 1: i'd bang you against a wall
Bae: Come over…
Me: But I’m upstairs
Bae: My parents aren’t home
"wow! who taught you to do your makeup like that?"
"wow! who taught you how to make that?"
"wow! who taught you-"
why do you know so much about sex
why are you so calm about porn
Why do you know so much about murdering people
Why do you want to murder a lot of people
when bae sets up a surprise date <3
you dont know frustration until youve tried plugging something into a socket in the dark
water is wet
the sun is hot
leaves are green
Republicans are white
what drugs have you done
Being friends with me consists of me sending you bad jokes at 2:47 in the morning
listen up you motherfucker
Who names someone fucktardshitcorn
My girlfriend sneezed and I accidentally said shut the fuck up instead of saying bless you
how do you accidentally say shut the fuck up